You're in the wrong place ...

Check out loughriedoeseurope.blogspot.com for the latest in my European adventures.

I am in an undisclosed secure location ...

Actually, I'm in London. (Just thought I would give a shout-out to post 9/11 Dick Cheney.)

It's been so fabulous here.

Yesterday, Thursday, I dedicated the day to doing something I haven't done in a long time. Eating pork.

Living in Turkey, there is no swine my favorite etible animal. So I've been loading up here. Traditional English Breakfast that comes with bacon AND sausage, eating pork chow mein and today having a bacon and cheese pastie (bacon and cheese served in a turnover basically. So delicious.)

And of course, I've been savoring the ales here. The beer in Turkey is such shit compared to a proper British ale.

It's 2 here and since I haven't done much since I arrived Wednesday night other than get pissed with my new Irish friend Leo (he's like the Irish Uncle Joe, for anyone who knows my Uncle. Both of them are great guys.)

Well, I'm off to do something free (either the British Museum or the British Library. Haven't decided yet.)

Cheers and I'll post more later.

James

P.S. I am sending this e-mail from London because I left Turkey. Probably should have put that higher. I've taken a job in Korea teaching English for about four times the money I made in Turkey. I'll be on holiday in Europe for another 12 days then it's off to Korea where I will eat dog and call everyone "You People." (Wait, I already do the latter.)

For the next few days, check out loughriedoeseurope.blogspot.com, but also keep checking LoughriedoesTurkey.blogspot.com, as I will keep posting great stories and wacky adventures from Turkey.

We don't have a waffle maker ...

But unlike Rex Grossman in the fourth quarter, I found a way to make things happen.

It was all part of the Turkish Super Pazartesi (Monday) Celebration that took place at my apartment Monday morning.

Though the game was on at 1:30 a.m. I told my room mate Maweja, who is from Chicago, that I would make Chicken and Waffles for the game, a delicacy he never tried before.

We divided up the shopping, I took care of making the fried chicken and gravy and I had him go out to get some waffles.

There are two places we know of in Izmit to get waffles, so we figured this shouldn't be hard.

But as I was chopping mushrooms for the gravy, the phone rang.

It was Maweja. One of the places didn't have waffles on Sunday. The other wouldn't do take out orders.

What the FUCK! Come on Turkey. I've asked you for almost nothing westernized since I got here, but I needed some waffles.

I quickly collected my thoughts and told him, "Don't worry about it. I've got flour and eggs here, I'll make the waffles."

"We don't have a waffle maker," Maweja replied.

While it was true, I was not going to let the spirit of the waffles be compromised. This was about more than that. It was bad enough I made pork free pigs in a blanket for pre-game appetizers, I was not about to have my Chicken and Waffles foiled. Especially to a Chicken and Waffles virgin.

I told him I would think of something, which was just a line to buy me some time. But it worked. I thought of something.

Pancake Waffles.

The delicious taste of waffles, served in the shape and texture of a pancake.

So now we were having Chicken and Waffle Pancakes, which doesn't sound the same, but to hell with it. We were watching the Superbowl.


This may not look delcious, but the Mushroom Gravy was awesome.

So how did they turn out?

But don't ask me, ask Maweja, who said, "I was pleasantly surprised by truly how wonderful it was. (It was) Some of the best gravy I ever had."

I did not make this quote up. If I did, there would have been some comment about midgets, sheep or bums fighting each other. (My favorite topics).

The Internet was the greatest invention ever for me Sunday, because it was not only where I got my recipes for Fried Chicken, Waffles and Gravy, but it was also how Maweja and I watched the game.

This little baby has brought me closer to America, especially for important games like the Super Bowl.

Yeah, it's been a while ...

I haven't written for a while.

Please don't assume I've been stolen by gypsies. I would have posted pictures about that.

The last two weeks have been both wonderful, horrible and all around stressful. I'll refrain from too many details, but know there are more wacky adventures to come.

However, there were some problems at work last week and two very bad days. The problems are solved now, but as I was experiencing them I realized something.

I didn't expect everyday to be wonderful here in Turkey. Days can't all be good, it's just a fact of life.

But I'll take ten bad days in America for one bad day here. (Come to think of it that's about the ratio I have for my former and current job)

The language is one thing that amplifies a bad day. This might sound stupid, but you really have no appreciation for how easy your life is until you live in a country where you don't speak the language.

My Turkish gets better every day, but it's still not nearly enough to be fluent. You people (in America and any others reading from countries where they were born) know the language, you know how to communicate and you know how the customs.

It's a humbling experience to step outside of that and try to take on another tongue. It's also more humbling to ask one of your Turkish friends to come with you to do simple tasks like go to the post office, buy something or get directions to the bus stop.

There are moments like last week, when the stress meter is high and I just want to wake up in America.

But fortunately the vast majority of my days here, (I'd guess 95%) are days like today, when I want nothing more than to meet a Turkish person and eat kebab (that shit is so good. I swear they put crack in it).

That's when I pity you people. Because there's just not a decent kebab place in America.

***


Get ready for the big game at my place.

If anyone is in the greater Izmit area Sunday, (actually Monday morning at 3 a.m.) Maweja and I will be up watching the Super Bowl. It will be the most American thing I've done since I've been here. Well that and using the term "Hurriyet Patates" which is Turkish for "Freedom Fries."

I'm preparing Swine in a Blanket (except made with beef sausages because I can't find any pork around here), Hurriyet Patates and, drumroll please, Chicken and Waffles.